“If you must slander someone don’t speak it but write it – write it in the sand, near the water’s edge.”
~Napolen Hill

When’s the last time you spoke out of anger and afterwards wished you would not have? We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, but how many of us learn from it? Let’s be honest people are people and people have done dumb stuff; people will do dumb stuff; and people will continue to do dumb stuff. People say, do and act in ways that disappoint us. It’s a fact of life. So the point isn’t the people it’s ourselves and how we adjust to people. What can we do to enhance our own lives despite what people around us do?

One thing I would suggest is to be mindful of your words “at all costs“, especially words of anger. Words said in anger can cut and hurt someone in ways that even if that do forgive you, they may never heal from the damage that the words have caused. Words spoken in anger are spoken from a condition of hurt or disappointment, thus the feeling of anger that we feel. So if you are feeling hurt and you speak from that position of hurt, your words will then be designed to hurt someone else whether you want to actually hurt them or not. The other side of hurtful words is that they normally DO NOT bring resolution but only continue the “Cycle of Hurt”. If you are truly searching for resolution, then your words should be designed towards pursuing resolution. However, words of anger are never designed that way.

So, the next time you find yourself angry or hurt by someone, hold your tongue and complain to God, a close friend that “WON’T SPREAD IT” (very important), spill your gutts on a piece of paper or write it in the sand and let the water wash that fact that you cussed them out from here to next Tuesday away!  It’s been said that one of our greatest leaders of this country, Abraham Lincoln wrote letters in anger and disappointment and addressed them to others, but never actually sent them. The writing it out was probably all the therapeutic help and release that President Lincoln needed and it allowed him to gather his thoughts into what the very best course of action was for all parties involved. If a great man and past president of America felt anger but decided not to give those words of anger to the person that upset him, I would consider this a vital lesson that we all could apply to our lives as well.

ConsiderTHIS…hurtful words will only make you feel better for a moment, if at all. More importantly, words of anger may cause damage that may ripple through time and your relationships. Become a guardian over your words and take personal responsibility on the effects that they cause others, while at the same time, learn to dispense the effects that others words have on you. It’s the only thing that you can truly control and thereby the only thing that you will truly give an account for.

If you are having problems forgiving someone for hurting you, please watch my forgiveness video HERE. I sincerely hope it will help.

 I honestly think words are important…what do you think? Can you remember a time when your words caused a hurt that you wish you never caused? Please share it. It may be something that someone else would consider and help.

Thanks for Reading! Have a Great Day!

Related articles

• Working on my anger (nothinginmynoggin.wordpress.com)
• Anger, grudge holding, and the cure—Forgiveness (onehotmessage.wordpress.com)
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• He has hurt me, I will show him now (emotionallyintelligentleader.wordpress.com)

“Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.”  ~Voltaire 

Have you ever thought about those people that sit around thinking of ways to take advantage of someone else? You know those people that create computer viruses, organize scams or look for someone to steal something from. What if these same people would use their time, gifts and abilities towards making something that would help someone else, instead of hurting them? What if they provided a beneficial service, instead of creating a way to cause someone else misery? The bottom line in many of these cases is that boredom, an unhealthy vice or habit, or some type of need moves people to take advantage of someone else in many cases.

The thing that really gets me sometimes is that people don’t understand the Golden Rule of, “Do upon others as you would have them do unto you”. Or from a more scientific viewpoint, Newton’s Law of Motion, which states “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction:” (which may not apply directly to a person’s actions in the natural sense but more to actual objects in motion, but I like to try and sound smart once a week so humor me! J) If we spend our time taking from others, someone will spend their time taking from us. Or, if we spend our time giving to others, someone will spend their time giving to you.

I honestly believe that the things that we are good at, or our natural gifts and talents, need a purposeful and positive outlet. If we don’t find one for them, idleness and boredom may cause us to use these gifts, which were intended for someone else’s good, for their evil. It’s a decision that may take work to develop into something good, but the rewards from that work can be immeasurable in this life and the life to come.

ConsiderTHIS…the things that we spend our time doing, is it work towards doing a thing that will help or hurt? If it’s to benefit someone else whatever work is required is beneficial. So make it a point to avoid boredom, unhealthy vices and personal needs and focus on someone else. As you do I believe that as you search for ways to benefic another you will find what you need being taking care of as well.

How often have you noticed people with some type of gift or talent using it in some negative way? How often have you done the same if ever?

Related articles

• Boredom’s Not A Burden Anyone Should Bear. (sebastianmarshall.com)

A well-known author was quoted as saying that ‘The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day and of these more than 80% are negative’.

As children we automatically learn to say “no” and to think of ourselves. As we grow, some of us have primary first thoughts of people not acting right; things being bad every where; or of expectations of fear or worry. With that said, what type of effect are these thoughts having on us and our outlook on life and others? I would venture to say..not that good.

Positive thoughts of love, thoughtfulness and kindness are aspects of our personalities that we must develop or be taught. When you encounter someone who says some sort of kind words, there must kind thoughts in place first. And not just kind thoughts of others but kind thoughts of themselves as well that have been part of their thoughts prior to speaking the kind words.

What kind of impact would it have on our society if you became a person that was not average and decided to think the “best” of others instead of expecting the “worst”? What type of effect would we have if we expected the best from situations instead of the worse? What effect would it have on our own lives and those closest to us if our outlook was positive instead of negative? Here I would venture to say…good in some way.

ConsiderTHIS…Be mindful of the thoughts you think, because they will effect your life. Become a person unlike the norm and train your thoughts to think the best. It just may end up…just as you expect.

And that would be a good thing…right?

Have you ever seen those people walking through the mall or sitting in the airport wearing shades? It’s like they have their own personal sun that goes indoors with them and they need to keep their shades on to protect their eyes from the extra level of awesome sun brightness that the rest of us normal mortals are not cool or privileged enough to experience. I wish I knew how to extend my level of cool high enough to cause the sun’s rays to following me into hotel lobbies, coffee shops and down into subway stations…one can only dream!

However, this article is not so much to the literal wearing of shades, but more to an expression of what shades can be considered. Shades protect your eyes from the sun but they also hide your eyes from being seen. You’ve probably heard the saying, “The eyes are the gateway to the soul.”, and I personally agree with it. I was in Walmart not long ago, and what appeared to be a very lovely woman was walking around the store with very dark pair of shades on and I honestly felt slighted. Her appearance was appealing, but without seeing her eyes, the package was incomplete for me. I’ve personally been able to grow and mature beyond just what I see as attractive in a woman’s appearance to include essence of what a she is and not just how she looks to see is I can actually develop something lasting with her. Without being able to see her eyes, I felt like I couldn’t see the essence of her personality and whether or not she could have the possibility of being as attractive on the inside, as she appeared to be on the outside. (Ok…that’s enough of my personal soap box…back to the topic!

My point is that wearing shades over your eyes to protect them from the sun is fine, but how many of us wear shades over our hearts and souls to protect them from the people we encounter in our lives as well? Wearing shades indoors gives the appearance that you are special or in need of hiding something for some reason. Now if you are Will Smith, wearing shades might be needed to cover yourself from stray cameras; now that’s understandable. But in our everyday lives do we wear shades over our true personalities and hide who and what we really are from people around us? If a person is not after the right thing, like when a horny ghetto dude approaches an attractive woman with “one thing” on his mind, ok shades might be needed because that joker may not deserve to actually experience her heart. But under normal interactions, are you hiding who you are from others?

Consider This…
For those people that truly want to get to know you in a very sincere and honest way, are shades really needed? What about the people that need to see or hear your true thoughts and feelings on situations so that your personal viewpoints can help them in some way, are the shades needed? What about the world that would benefit from you sharing of the essence that God has given you, are the shades needed? I ask you to consider the fact that if you are hiding the essence of who God has made you to be because of past hurts or some type of disappointment in your life, please consider “Losing The Shades” that cover who you are and allow all of us, in the world, to experience your soul and essence unhindered and covered by the shades.

This is just an Idea to Consider…Intended to Help!

When’s the last time you got on the highway heading south and ended up something in the north? Hopefully…Never! If that has ever happened to you, it may have been because you may have had a guest spot on Star Trek. But under normal circumstances, when we are in our cars driving in one direction that direction has an ultimate destination set into it. Along the way, you may see different things along the way like new constructions, accidents or different people when you get off the road for gas or to grab a bite to eat, but as long as you get back on the road heading in the same direction you will eventually reach it.

When I was growing up in Philadelphia, we would always take a summer road trip to either my mother’s home town of Sandy Bottom, GA or my dad’s home town of Greensville, TN. Both of which were small little towns that it took no less than 10 hours to get to in the car. And 20 minutes after getting there, my cousins and I are bored because there’s nothing to do. We would often leave in the middle of the night, and my brother and I would fall asleep in the back of the car on a busy 4 lane highway and wake up hours later to a quiet 2 lane road. As we traveled long enough in one direction, that path would eventually change our environment and surroundings as long as we stayed on it long enough.

The same types of directions are part of how we conduct our lives. If we are doing things to benefit others, to help others or at least to not being a burden on others than we will reach eventually reach a destination that is in line with that way of life or that direction. However, if the road of life we travel is only about ourselves and what people can do for us, we will reach a destination that agrees with that particular path. Please understand, I cannot and wouldn’t try to tell you about the road you are traveling on because I have no idea what kind of road it is and the results of the path for each of our lives will ultimately be different. What I am saying is to please pay attention to your path and be mindful of it so that once the ultimate destination is reached you are not surprised by it or upset.

Consider This…
What type of path are you on with the life you lead and the way you treat people? If you consider the love you show or do not show and the care you give you do or do not give others, where will it ultimately leave you? Keep in mind that we are never alone and every action and motive affects someone around us. What type of affect are you having on others and do you “Know Your Direction”? If you don’t like where it’s heading, please “repent” or turn around and change your direction.

This is just an Idea to Consider…Intended to Help!

During holidays, I often find myself getting caught up in the whirlwind of the events that society deems important. In this highly technical society, we want so much to have the latest iPhone or iPad, the nicest car and status in society. Please don’t mis-understand, I do love my Apple products, like nice cars and want to be someone that in a position to help someone else.

But when’s the last time I used my Apple product, and was grateful that I had eyes to see what I was doing on it? Or was grateful that I had the ability to hear the sound from that movie trailer I watched. It may seem like a “little thing” but without eyes or ears, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the product as much. So that would make the little things, “Not So Little”. 

During holidays, I’m concerned about what to buy my Mom, but the more important aspect of it is that my Mom is still alive and well to spend time with. Again, not so little of a thing.   I’m currently debating on whether I should drive to my family or catch some form of transport so I can spend those few hours working on my laptop. But I’m grateful for the resources to have options on which means of travel I will take, not so little of a thing. 

So I ask you to Consider This…what are those things that you sometimes over look in light of other things that you deem as bigger or more important? The true fact of the matter is that it’s those little foundational things are the basis for most of the other things that we often times overlook, but if you really look at them maturely, the little things in life are actually “Not So Little Things“.

Thanks for reading. Have a great day.  

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You recognized you were wrong. You admitted you were wrong. You apologized for what you did. However, it just seems like the other person is still holding on to it. Why? Didn’t they forgive me? One thing that most people miss in the process of forgiveness is the steps needed to restore what was lost.   Asking for forgiveness is vital, and the first step. Don’t forget to apply the other major concepts needed for total restoration. It can be done! We can show you how!

This is just an Idea to Consider…Intended to Help!

Didn’t You Forgive Me?:
How to be Restored After Being Forgiven

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Every relationship in life has a basic essence. The people in every relationship will operate from either a selfish standpoint which is the state of being more concerned about themselves or they will operate from a selfless standpoint which is being more concerned about the other person. For the sake of argument, let’s make selfishness comparable to hate and let’s make selflessness comparable to love. The two operate together in the same way that two sides of a coin do. So with that, you will always be operating in one side of the coin or the other at any given time. So every interaction that we have with each other is based from the standpoint of love or hate, selflessness or selfishness.

Now if you have read anything that I have written, either book or post, you will have heard me speak about “what you do for others being done unto you.” This is because I quite frankly try to govern my life by it to the point that whenever I do something that I don’t want done to me, I try and fix it as fast as I can. But along the lines of love, when love is “given” love is “received.” But I wanted to speak a little more directly to those that we have a close relationship with like a husband, a wife, our children, our family member, close friends, etc. From those relationships, how many of them have just been around for years and the relationship seems to be just grow closer and closer? On the other hand, how many relationships have you had that are now over and you don’t want them back and you wonder “What the heck was wrong with me” in the first place to ever be in that relationship from the start?

Going back to my initial statement, I believe that every relationship has a basic essence. If the essence of the relationship is selfish the acts done in that relationship, by one or both parties, will be done solely to benefit one person and not the other; they will do things that are solely about themselves and their feelings; they will want things from the other that are solely about themselves and their feelings. A relationship that is based in this type of selfish focus, or love for oneself, and hate for the other, will end up with the selfish person being with the one that they love the most; themselves. In this case, they love themselves more than the other person and that self-love will push away the one person that they do not love or the other person on the other side of the coin that they hate. (Now if you’re having a problem with the use of the word “hate”…I apologize, but consider it this way; if we go back to the coin and every side of a coin is the clear opposite of the other side, than the opposite of love is hate. You may say that you may still care for the other person, just less than you do for yourself, but in essence that’s the point I’m trying to make. Let’s pick a clear side one or the other and understand it from a clear black and white stance. Then hopefully it will help clarify the grey areas that may arise from different situations.) So if your love for the other person isn’t based in unconditional and pure love, the presence of hate or selfishness that exists in that relationship will taint it and have an ultimately destructive outcome on it.

Just as a parent shows unconditional love for their child and as the child grows, they begin to return that love back to the parent, so do the seeds of love shown into other relationships begin to breed back to us the result of that love back to us. So if the essence of a relationship is love; a sincere concern for the other, a sincere concern for their feelings and a sincere concern for their heart from the standpoint of unconditional love, that love will provide the relationship with the needed “life” to keep it alive and growing. This life, which is born from unconditional love, helps the relationship flourish. The “essence of love” creates the “seeds of love” and the “seeds of love” grow and “breed more love”; in short it “Love Breeds Love.”

Consider This…
With the relationships that have ended in your life, how much “real unconditional love” was in operation during the relationship? If there was more “real unconditional love” for the other person, do you think the relationship would have lasted longer? I ask you to now consider the relationship(s) that you may have now, are you feeding them with the seeds of love to make sure that they continue to grow and flourish, or are you draining love from the relationship(s) by hating the other person and/or using them for your own selfish needs? If this is the case, it’s only a matter of time before no seeds of love are being planted into the relationship and it eventually ends. If this is ok with you, keep you and your feeling above the feelings of the other person, and you and the one you love the most (which again is you) will eventually be alone and together.

This is just an Idea to Consider…Intended to Help!

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I was out with a friend at Walmart one day shopping. After paying we were walking out and I saw a elderly woman digging through the trash can looking for food. I watched her closely as we walked into the parking lot. As I thought about her I stopped walking and my friend wondered what was wrong. I then asked her to follow me back inside and I went into the McDonalds that was attached to the Walmart and purchased the women a value meal with a drink. After buying the meal, I walked up to the elderly woman and offered it to her.

However, instead of her graciously receiving a meal that she did not have to get out of the trash can, she actually became very offended and cursed me out a bit as if I was offering her something that was gonna hurt or poison her. After a few moments of trying to explain to her that I had just purchased it, and that she didn’t have to pay me back or anything she still refused. Now please understand, this was not the first or last time that I had done something like this, but the first time my sincere desire to help was so unwanted. So to say the least it was kind of a hurtful feeling for me, despite my friends sincere words as she said, “That was nice anyway Eric.” So I eventually just left the meal on the trash can, that the women had been rummaging through, and left not knowing whether or not she or anyone else benefited from it.

Consider This…
What do you do when your good intentions are not received? Despite your best intentions to show love and concern for someone, they may simply throw it back at you. Have there been times when what you did to benefit someone else just didn’t have the outcome you expected? To you I say “Care On Purpose”. Never let the benefit that giving has “for you” be lost “to you” because of someone else’s inability to receive it. Acts 20:35 says, “… ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Why, because the act of giving sets you up for the harvest of many acts of giving to be done back to you. If every act of giving is considered a seed that grows into a harvest, one act of sincere kindness done for someone else will produce many more acts of kindness done for you. So I ask you to “Care On Purpose” for someone, and watch someone “Care On Purpose” for you.

This is just an Idea to Consider…Intended to Help!

So I was in line at Best Buy getting my laptop looked at by the geeks squad and a very nice lady walked up to get help in reference to her 2 brand new iPads that she had. Having 2 iPads wasn’t as impressive as having had purchased them months prior and not have opened them yet. One of them was for her husband and the other for her 4 year old daughter.

And Yes! I said it…4 years old.

But wait…it gets better! not only was she getting her 4 year old the iPad but her 4 year old was expecting it and ALL of her 4 year old friends were getting one already for sure without a doubt! Ok I know you wondering…how do you know all this Eric. Well…after I heard that it was for a 4 year old and I haven’t gotten myself one yet, I think I may have wanted her to adopt me so I politely eased my way into the conversation! Shameful you say? Whatever! Mind ya business!

Anyway, I made it a point to ask so “all” her friends are getting one. She said oh yes and my daughter has her list all ready to give to Santa next week when we go see him! Ha! Impressive to say the least.

I don’t remember holding the car keys before 10 and that was a big deal to me just knowing I had in my hands the “things” that would start the car. It’s sometimes amazing to me how far technology has grown and expanding out horizons as a culture. our kids have so much more available to them to use to help them learn, grow and experience the world.

However, just as things have expanding to broaden the horizons of our children, it’s also vital that we expand our protection of them as well in line with the new horizons that are available to our kids.

Years ago, as long as you were careful with the people in your immediate house, your kids school and extra activities you were pretty well versed in the inputs that your kids were getting. But now a days, the inputs have increased so much that your child can be connected to the Internet talking to someone you don’t know sitting behind you in the car.

ConsiderTHIS…as we expand the ways we empower of kids to reach the world so are we also expanding the ways we empower the world to reach our kids. I’m not a parent yet, but hopefully when that time comes I will make it clear to my children that I’m for them using every source available to them for their growth and benefit. However I will also make it clear that every available source won’t be available to them until I know, they know, how to use it safety.

I employ every parent to consider the technology that our kids are growing up to love and make sure it’s always being used for their benefit and not their hurt. As a parent it’s your job to guard and protect, not to necessarily be their fiend. They will appreciate it when they are old enough to know the different.

Just An Idea to Consider…Intended to Help!
Thanks for reading. Have a good day!

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